My last self-care post was three weeks ago now, but those ideas have continued to sustain me. I am still focused on building healthy habits rather than resisting unhealthy ones. This is how the past three weeks have looked:
March 16 – 22, I exercised six times on four days. I had three personal training sessions, walked 3.5 miles with my Wednesday group, walked a 5K, and did a home yoga session. March 23 – 29, I was traveling and did not push myself to get in my third workout. My two exercise sessions that week only happened because of built-in accountability: a scheduled personal training session and a treadmill workout with a friend who reached out to make arrangements before either of us left home so there would be no excuses. She saved me!
This week, March 30 – April 5, I worked out five times. I had three personal training sessions, I walked 4 miles with my Wednesday group, and I did some yoga this morning. I’ve been claiming for years that I would begin a consistent yoga practice, but I never have. Needing to take a break from running has definitely highlighted for me the problems caused by my lack of flexibility. It is past time to address this in a much more proactive way.
Because the past three weeks have been hectic, including not only teaching but also organizing #NotRacistOSU events and visiting Brandeis, accountability has remained my saving grace. I am therefore seeing the need to somewhat re-think accountability. Like many Americans, I have always assumed that if I want to reach a goal, I should simply be self-disciplined. If I can’t manage to do that, then I’ve failed in the most basic way and can’t expect good outcomes. However, when I look objectively at the juggling act that our lives require, it’s clear that needing accountability is not a sign of weakness or failure.
Recognizing that you need to create structures of accountability is not about lacking discipline. It’s about recognizing that something is only a priority if you are willing to prioritize it in concrete ways. And I can’t think of a more concrete way to prioritize something than to allot to it some of my most valuable resources–time and money. If anything is worth time and money, it’s health. So, something as fleeting and amorphous as “self-discipline” won’t do the trick. If it will benefit my health, it belongs in my calendar and in my budget.
Still with me???
Ditto. Working with a personal trainer has been the biggest shift for me in this most recent journey toward self-care. And, as you say, it’s my dedication of time/money in scheduling those appointments that structures a different kind of accountability.
Where I’ve been struggling a bit is that I find myself seeking “rewards” or confirmations of “success” more than I anticipated. I’m at the 4month mark of serious dedication to a new routine and I find myself, on the one hand, getting compulsive about hitting my daily marks (steps/calories/workouts) while, on the other, regretting my (conscious) decision to not focus on scales, measurements & before/after pics at my starting point. My articulated goal at the outset was to make a lifestyle change, with any weight-loss or strength/mobility-gain being a welcome side benefit; I think that remains true. BUT the weight-loss & strength/mobility-gains are much more conspicuous than my more abstract “lifestyle change” goals, so I’m finding myself fixating on the externals more than I want to. (I also think this is triggered by the fact that, at my last weigh-in, I hit the ballpark of a plateau I’ve never been able to get past in my last couple go-rounds on the eat-less/move-more bandwagon.) But I am finding the emotional terrain of this juncture a bit more complicated than expected.
Oh, you are preaching my sermon: “I am finding the emotional terrain of this juncture a bit more complicated than expected.” I am SO with you! I have always tried to live with a level of self-awareness that American culture doesn’t really encourage. Still, I’m finding this journey–this go around–to be more revealing than I could’ve dreamed. I think that’s why I’m really trying to think across all the areas of my life as I grapple with whatever comes up. I’m trying to think about how what feels right with my approach to physical activity (including more compassion and less of a “high stakes or no stakes” mentality) might be the wisest way to approach other areas of my life.
I also made a “(conscious) decision to not focus on scales, measurements & before/after pics at my starting point.” Deciding to do so now is certainly an option. I’ve had to face the fact that my tendency toward myself has not been kindness. Therefore, I’m really monitoring my progress on making kindness more of a practice. If I feel confident that I can continue to practice kindness, then that’s when I feel I can introduce various kinds of measurements as a way to celebrate rather be mean to myself. Hope that makes sense. We’re taking so many good steps! Let’s keep giving ourselves credit for them and remember that we’re not taking them alone. Thanks for sharing this journey, Brian!