I am happy to say that I maintained my commitment to judge less and do more this week. I exercised four times, giving myself credit for simply moving and taking small steps in the right direction. Confident that I wouldn’t sabotage myself if I took Monday off, I did so. I focused more on reading and writing that day. I’m aiming to get back to incorporating reading, writing, and exercising into every day, but I’m not there yet.
My workout sessions picked up on Wednesday with my weekly BGR! meet-up. On Friday, I ran with a friend. We covered 5 miles, walking half of it. (She was letting me set the pace. She could’ve run the entire distance a lot faster than I was allowing us to go.) On Saturday, I started the day writing, so I didn’t meet friends for an early morning run. Still, I was determined to do something, so I walked and jogged (mostly walked) for 30 minutes on the home treadmill. This morning, I decided to push myself more than I had the last two workouts. I ended up running 4 miles non-stop. It was the first time I’ve done that since November.
What I like most about these past few weeks is that I have focused more on consistency than on hitting certain targets for each workout. That is, moving three times per week is my goal. I don’t need each of those three sessions to look a certain way. This is important because I don’t want to fall into the trap of beating myself up because I’m not doing now what I could easily do 12 to 18 months ago. I believe in competing with myself, but not if that simply becomes an opportunity to criticize myself. Besides, I didn’t get into my current shape overnight, so why should I expect to change it instantly?
Wherever you are on this journey, please know that, despite what our culture wants us to believe, every step in the right direction is worth celebrating! Not every step needs to be a giant leap to yield serious benefits. The world is full of people who are happy to refuse to give you credit for what you do—big or small. In fact, some people think that’s their job. Well, let them have at it, but don’t help them do it.
Koritha, thank you! since William passed that has been my mantra, life is just TOO short!-at times it is a lot easier said than done-it is easy to slip back into old ways especially if you set your expectations high and try an be what you used to be, a prescription for failure. Now it is about embracing where I am, accepting who I am, slowing down and enjoying the journey I am on, this has reduced my stress level immensely. Consistency, speaking good intentions and preparation are for me key components for success–one moment, one step, and one day at a time. Staying present. Thank you for the beautiful reminder! Blessings to you always. ~Carolyn
Oh, thank you so much for sharing, Carolyn! That it resonates for you and what you’ve been through means a lot to me. “at times it is a lot easier said than done”—Ain’t that the truth! I guess that’s why we have to keep practicing…and keep practicing being kind to ourselves. #grateful for you, woman!
Great post, Koritha! I’ve been thinking about internalized ableism within fitness culture and the ways we’re often not allowed to honor steps of all sizes. You are doing so well. Keep on keeping on!
Oh, thank you for that! Will keep thinking on that. Wow.
Thanks, Koritha, for reminding us and encouraging us to take good care of ourselves in the midst of it all. So very necessary. Much appreciated.
I’m so glad it resonates. Thank you for taking this journey with me. Support definitely makes a difference!
This post is so relevant and really spoke to me. I have been consistently running for 8 years this month (yay me!) When people tell me how proud they are of me and all the “marathons” I’ve run, I quickly correct them and say, “I’ve ‘only’ run 10Ks and half marathons,” which effectively minimizes my accomplishments. This blog post made me think about that… I will still correct the distance thing (after all it’s a huge accomplishment to run 26.2 miles in one setting), but I am going to preface it by saying “THANK YOU!” and give myself credit for the many 6.2-13.1 mile races that I have completed. Thanks for sharing.
Correction: I have been running 7 years (since January 2008).
YES! EXACTLY! Noticing that you’re minimizing your accomplishment is key. There’s no need to do that, but so many of us do because it’s actually what our society wants women especially to do. I’m thrilled to know this helped you see that. Yay!